


Instincts

by AbbodonAbandon



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga), Death Note: Another Note
Genre: Alternate Universe, Aro Yagami Light, Basically everyone is trans, Genderfluid Beyond Birthday, I can't promise this won't have the plot of every shitty ya fantasy ever, M/M, Magic AU, More tags to be added as story progresses, Nonbinary Near, Trabs Matsuda Touta, Trans Character, Trans Mikami Teru, Trans Yagami Light, Trans boy Light, aro character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-25 23:01:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12543204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbbodonAbandon/pseuds/AbbodonAbandon
Summary: Light just wanted to follow quietly in his father's footateps, but when he's swept up in council affairs, with  a mysterious voice urging, only his instincts will keep him alive.





	Instincts

**Author's Note:**

> I literally promised this au in December of last year and I hope that you fucks are happy. Also the title will probably change but I just wanted to get this out

A gust of ice wind sunk its teeth into Takahashi’s jacket. Shrugging it closer to himself, he cursed his luck. Early March in Japan dipped to around five degrees in the evenings, on average, or just chilly enough for a heavy jacket. And yet… With the way the wind howled around him, like a cat just asking for a shoe to be lobbed at it’s face, the temperature must have been sub-zero (or at the very least at one degree, if he disregarded his “blatant over-exaggerations” as the other guards frequently called him out on). 

Of course, it was just typical that he was stuck out on a night like this, while nearly the rest of the force lounged comfortably at Chief Yagami’s son’s coming of age celebration. He didn’t know Yagami well, and admittedly he wasn’t of the most amicable temperament, as the rest of the squadron always seemed quick to remind him, so it wasn’t exactly surprising that he was one of the few people present at the station. Besides, his position, on the walkway preceding the front entrance, was a lonely one, especially with so few people about. 

Feet aching from standing in one place for so long, Takahashi strode forward, down the walkway. It wasn’t against protocol, as he was not-quite straying from his post. “Besides, it’s not like any fool grand enough to attempt a break in on one of the most well-guarded buildings in all of Japan exists.” Takahashi snorted. Indeed, the NPA sat next to the grand Council Headquarters itself. Protected by only the most well-trained magicians in all of their classes, only someone with a death-wish would even attempt a break-in. 

“What a night to be out...” A voice, honeyed yet sharp, split the chilly air. Takahashi jerked to attention. 

“Akamine.” 

“Yes. Tell me, what are you doing out here?” 

“Guard duty. It’s my job. We do work right next to each other, even if you and the rest of the council’s people are too busy sitting on their asses to notice what’s happening right under your noses. Or what’s happening right in your own buildings.” 

Akamine’s eye twitched. He may have only been part of the guard, but they still held pride in their positions working alongside the council members. Swallowing harshly, he looked Takahashi in the eye. “Always the caustic one, I suppose. And shouldn’t you be at your post, then? If you’re so scared of a few minor break-ins.” 

Takahashi laughed bitterly. The refraction bounced off of the high walls of the buildings surrounding them. “‘A few minor break-ins’ my ass. Doesn’t the council pride itself on its security? A pillar above the masses? I’m sure it’s a sturdy pillar, now that it’s base has been chipped away.” 

Akamine’s lips drew into a thin line. “You can use metaphors. How cute. Anyways, if your guard duty does heed something, don’t hesitate to trip the wire. I’m on duty tonight. In fact, I believe my break is over.” With a simpering smile, Akamine stalked off. 

Takahashi resisted the urge to flip his index finger at him. “Pompous little peacock.”

As the air grew colder, Takahashi’s senses grew sharper.

He was just about to complete his rounds for a second time when he heard it. A strange, halfway metallic whir, seeping from the alleyway between the council building and the police station. 

For a moment, he weighed the situation. On the one hand, it wasn’t exactly his job to check back there (from what he could tell, it was the guard’s problem more than anything), but on the other hand… If he could catch out something important he could humiliate Akamine. As long as he didn’t trip the wire for his help. 

He crept forward. The alleyway lay ahead and slightly to the left of him, with the dimly lit side entrance to the council shallowly overlapping the lip. An unused entrance lay on the police building as well. This one, large iron door frame a remnant from old times, completely shaded the alley. Whatever was making the noise would be just beyond. Waiting for him.

Takahashi gulped. Still, he pushed forward. Mind wracking for every detail of drills he had been put through in boot camp, he tried his best to meld into the shadows that hugged the street edges. If he was careful, and didn’t stray from the sidewalk, he’d make it to the first doorway unseeable by anyone in the alleyway. 

As he crept along, heart juddering with each step, he wondered what, exactly, he was up against. Now that he thought of it, it wasn’t exactly like he was on some sort of early morning shift where the worst of the gangs would prowl the streets looking to pillage. It was barely past eight, quite a reasonable time for teenagers to be skulking about, with whatever made that awful noise. It could be some awful new noise-making device that teens used to bother honest, hard-working people. Still, something pulled on his gut. Teenagers weren’t the most known for hanging out by police stations, or Council buildings. Especially the main one… 

The first doorway loomed before him, and he halted. From where he stood, body pressed to the side of the Council, with his head attempting to peek past the side, he couldn’t see much. Especially since the bulb of the lone lamp illuminating the doorwell burned so dim. 

A creak to his left cut through the buzzing, and he hissed. Nothing moved. 

“The wind…?” It came out in a whisper. He spied nothing. Still, his nerves twitched uglily as he waited with his back against the building. This called for more… forceful measures. 

His eyes switched shut. At the back of his mind lay a pool, wide and pale at the front. The back deepened to a dark blue. “Just like they taught us in training.” He muttered. 

One foot in front of the other. In his mind, he walked forward. Water lapped at his feet. His hand skimmed it, digging deeper and deeper as the gentle-turned-heavier waves lapped at him and- His eyes shot open. Fire, small and red, danced in his palm. 

“Perfect.” A slow grin cracked his face. He turned back to the alleyway. Whatever waited in there, he was ready.

Takahashi stalked forward. The alley was dark. Too dark, pulsating and ugly around him. The orange fire barely penetrated it. 

The whirring sounded louder now. He could almost feel it shaking inside of him. 

Takashi turned, searching for the sound and - the door to the council, the side door that no one checked, hung ajar. Only slightly, yet… Takashi stood right next to it now, stared into it, inspected it, jaw slack with disbelief as his hand ghosted over the frame. The alarm hadn’t sounded. In the seam of the door, the little green light that meant the alarm was “on” was out. Someone on the inside had turned it off. “Treason.” He whispered.

A noise off to his left, like something skimming the pavement, whipped his head to the side. The alleyway stood dark as before. Yet… Takahashi felt it. A presence. 

“Who’s there?” He called, voice barely shaking. The noise sounded again, louder and closer. 

“I’m warning you!” The fire in his palm flashed, sparks shooting into the gloom. He knew he should reach for the red button on his belt, knew he should call for backup. But-

Ice choked Takahashi. Again, he heard the noise. He could feel it, standing in front of him. The movement stopped. The whole world seemed to stop. A soft sound, like a laugh, filled the air. Mocking him. 

The ice in Takahashi cracked. Like a bullet, his hand struck out, fingers curled into blazing claws and- his fist swiped through the figure, through the illusion. 

The laugh was louder now, all around him. Takahashi staggered upright, the world around him oozing with color as- Weight came down on his neck hard, crashing the world around him into darkness.

Light had never been one for parties. They were loud and largely useless affairs, filled with people he hardly knew that he hardly wanted to socialize with. He was good at it, sure, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. 

Of course, none of that mattered. Because today was his coming of age party, the most important day in any newly young-adult’s life, as his classmates had made quite clear, and the last thing he wanted was to disappoint his parents. 

Right now, it didn’t particularly grate on him. His only job during the dinner was to sit at the head of the table, right beside his father, and endure any of the small talk that the people who had managed to sit close enough to him sent his way. Soichiro acted as an appropriate buffer, his arm protectively half-wrapped around Light’s shoulder, squeezing him closer at particularly bumpy parts of conversation. 

Normally, Light wouldn’t have liked the overprotectiveness, but… He needed it. It was the first time in the months since Light’s “going public” that he had come under any attention from someone outside his family and school, and he had been dreading the attention. Of course, the worst had probably bowed out of attending when they had seen the invitations (the “My son, Light Yagami” had most definitely caused some intrigue around the office (He had been quite prolific among Soichiro’s co-workers due to his grades, before the going public), although Soichiro had undoubtedly kept it from him. 

Even when Light had explicitly asked him, much to Light’s annoyance. He had wanted to know what he was up against, and his father's misguided attempt to protect him had only hampered that. 

“So, Tsuki,” The man across from Light cut into his thoughts, the same simpering smile that he had worn all night plastered across his face. “When will your testing take place?”. 

Before Light could answer, Soichiro butted in, a low glare stretching across his face. “Light is going to be doing his testing tomorrow.” The man, one of Soichiro’s co-workers, from what he had gathered from what snippets of conversation he’d paid any heed to, cowed. 

Soichiro’s arm tightened around Light, his face changing to a small smirk as he continued on with the conversation.

The testing… Light had been dreading that. After reaching adulthood, every citizen was sent to the testing center in order to undergo a ceremony of sorts, in order to “awaken” their gifts. The type of gift displayed, and how powerful it was, could make or break someone’s career. 

There were four schools of magic, with each gift aligning with one of said schools. Mind mages usually occupied the higher paying jobs, such as leaders of corporations or the police force, while elementals and shifters carried out the grunt work of society. Illusionists were the lowest regarded school, usually taking up jobs related to the arts, although most were known for their conning. 

But, not everyone had powers. Those who didn’t, a small, ill-regarded minority, were forced into the least desirable positions of society. 

It wasn’t that Light was worried, particularly. He hailed from a long line of mind mages from both sides of his parents. And yet… By now, the first nudges of power had usually formed for people his age. His friends had gone on about being able to summon small sparks in their palms, or when they concentrated hard enough, catch a small glimpse of some niggling thought or stray energy bouncing from person to person. But when Light focused, all he had felt was a yawning void, his hand stopped by some invisible barrier when he reached out to try and grasp at whatever spark of life was said to reside inside of him. 

The loud bark of his father's voice split him from his musings. “I’d like to make a toast to my son!” He squeezed Light’s hand for emphasis. Politely, Light looked up, a half-strained smile stretching his face. “On this night, we celebrate his coming of age... ” Soichiro continued on for what must have been only a minute, but Light, caught in the strange flare of the many faces watching him, could only sit in silence. 

His father slumped back in his seat, a pleased, proud grin meeting Light as he sat. Light smiled back wanly. The sun, red-gold and slanting through the window, hit just right on the party before him to cast the room in an uncertain haze. 

The room around Light teemed with people, milling about in the dusky blue-black, heads close together as eddies of murmurs drifted through the room. It was with a quiet smile that Light watched this, thankful for being far enough removed to politely watch as an outsider. 

After the toast, a portion of the party had crept off, with hastily shaken hands and excuses spilled out before him as they disappeared into the gloom. And now, after blended minutes that stretched like hours, Light had freed himself from the endless cycle of introductions from the guests. At least he wouldn’t appear as an ungracious host. He wouldn’t want to see his parents disappointed like that. Most of them were friends of his father’s from work; Soichiro, as deputy director of the NPA, held much sway in the office, and not many wanted to miss the opportunity to rub elbows with him. 

From what he gathered from small snatches of the conversation, people were looking forward to the spring festival. Light smiled. He had gone there many times with Sayu, and he could almost hear the crack of fireworks as his eyes closed. He would have to take her there, when he got out from whatever schooling he went. Those were thoughts for after the testing, of course. The doubt from before sparked in his stomach as he remembered the void inside of him. 

He brushed it off, to the back of his mind, as he stepped forward and- WHAM! Light yelped as he stumbled backwards, something cold splashing down his front.

“Sorry!” A man stood before him, warm eyes wide in apology. A now empty glass of punch clutched awkwardly in a hand thrown up as if to prevent a fall. 

Light stood stunned, the man beginning to pat him dry, a chorus of apologies tumbling out in a string of noise. 

Taking in a breath, Light threw his hand up to meet the man’s. As amicably as he could, he said, “It’s alright, sir.” The man blinked in surprise, whether at the touch or the “sir” (he looked quite young to be wearing the guard uniform, Light realized), Light didn’t know.

“It’s Matsuda. Matsuda Touta. B-ut you can call me Matsu if you want, because that’s pretty much what everyone calls me over at the office and it’s alright because I don't mind it but-” A large blush had crept across the man’s cheeks, and despite himself, Light found his smile growing genuine. He almost couldn't feel the wet seeping into the front of his suit jacket. 

“That’s a nice name, Matsuda-san. I’m Yagami Light.” He proffered his left hand, and Matsuda fumbled for it, going first with the one still clutching the drink glass before sheepishly grinning and grasping Light’s hand awkwardly with his own left. Matsuda shook it vigorously, holding it almost too long to be polite before letting go. A large grin had broken across his face. 

“Light-kun! It’s been so long, hasn’t it? I thought I was you when I saw you, but I was so far down the table that I could hardly see you and-” 

“Wait… How do you know me?” Light smiled awkwardly. Touta Matsuda sounded familiar, but he couldn’t remember who the other man was. Well, obviously someone who worked with his Dad, but he rarely visited there, and Matsuda talked to him so familiarly… 

“Your dad brought me over for dinner! It was when I was just starting out, and I was really nervous and I looked really different back then, too, so it’s fine that you don't remember me, and you were so tiny, too!” 

“Oh…” Barely, Light remembered. It had been a rather disastrous dinner. He hadn’t seen Soichiro in almost a month besides when he arrived home at midnight, and it had been the disappointment of his young lifetime when he realized his father was spending his first night off shared with some stranger over Light. He had spent the night hostile sitting with his back to the table. Light shuddered at the memory. 

Still… Matsuda had looked quite different, his face much rounder and his voice oddly high enough that Light had quietly asked Soichiro about it (after Matsuda had left, of course. He still had some scrap of politeness in him.) 

“I do remember, I think.” Light smiled gently, if a little awkwardly. “You’re a trans man, right?” Despite himself, his voice dropped lower. 

Matsuda grinned. “Yep! And so’re you, right?” 

A smirk crept across Light’s face. “No. I was just a very ugly child.”

Matsuda snorted. “Weren’t we all?” 

“So, tell me more about yourself, Matsuda. What’s it like, being part of the NPA? And what’s your specialty?” Specialty was slang for power. It always felt impolite to ask so forthrightly.

Matsuda’s smile tightened, and Light immediately regretted asking. “Don’t have one.” 

“Oh…” There wasn’t much to say in the face of someone without powers, and even less if you wanted to be polite. “That’s too bad” was understandably taken very poorly, yet Light couldn’t find any suitable words. So he kept silent, awkwardly patting Matsuda’s shoulder.

“It’s fine. It’s really not that big a deal, right? It’s just who I am.” Matsuda seemed like he was convincing himself. 

“Of course! And you’ve gotten so far already! I mean, how old are you?” Light grinned, nudging Matsuda with the back of his hand. 

“25. And yeah, I guess that I have.” 

“I’m sure your parents must be proud.” He tried to smile for Matsuda. 

“They aren’t. But thanks anyways.” His smile was wooden. Light flinched. 

“I’m sorry, I should have-” 

“No, I should be sorry.” A warm hand engulfed Light’s own. “That was rude, and you were only trying to be nice.” Matsuda squeezed. 

“I should have been more considerate. Not everyone has parents as accepting as mine.” 

The grin crept back over Matsuda. “He’s really great, isn't he? I mean, he was so nice to me when he first started, even took me out to dinner since I didn’t know anyone. He even stood up for me when the others weren’t nice at all.” Something wistful had entered his expression. 

Light nodded. “I know. He yelled at my school board, actually. When I first came out, and they wouldn’t get any of my teachers to call me Light because it wasn’t ‘official’ yet. They were white as sheets when he was done with them!” For some reason, the conversation flowed much easier than it had for him with anyone else all night. 

“Really? That must have been something. Would’ve been real great to see.” Small chuckles left Matsuda. The hand holding his had somehow grown tighter, and Light realized Matsuda’s thumb was slowly tracing patterns on the underside of his arm. Light grew hot as the talking lulled into silence, Matsuda’s eyes meeting his, and a strange feeling crushed his stomach. 

“I’ll get us some punch then, since you spilled yours.” Light said quietly, breaking away. 

Matsuda nodded, eyes blinking like he had just broken out of a haze. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. You need any help?” 

“No. I’m supposed to be the host here, remember?” Light tried to grin as he slipped away to the refreshments table. The air there was much calmer, less heavy and cooler than next to Matsuda, and he took a few quick breaths as he ladled out the glimmering red punch into a glass. 

Before, he hadn’t had the time to truly appreciate his mother’s set up of his party, but now… The flickering gold “fairy lights” cast an undulating glow onto the table, Light’s eyes flickering to and from each fragment of light, hopelessly lost. He shook himself out of the haze. The uncomfortableness in his stomach had somehow lessened, and Light quickly finished pouring out the punch, grateful no one new had tried to approach him. 

As Matsuda came into view among the crowd, Light started. Soichiro stood next to him, arm clasped on Matsuda’s as they talked. 

“Hello.” Light smiled to both of them, handing Matsuda his punch. 

“Thank you!” He took a large swig, still smiling at Light. Before Light could slip off again, Soichiro grabbed his arm. Something warm burned in his smile as he half-pulled Light into the midst of their conversation. 

“I see you’ve met Matsuda. Or reacquainted yourself with him is the more correct word, I suppose. Hopefully you’ve made a better first impression, anyhow.” Soichiro smiled knowingly. 

“Oh!” Matsuda laughed. “You weren’t really feeling well that day, right, Light? Cause that’s what your dad said, since you were so crabby!”

Light flushed. He side-eyed Soichiro, eyes hopefully sharp as daggers, before he spoke. “Yeah. I don’t think I was feeling too well that day. School was a hassle, and all.”

Matsuda nodded. “You know, Soichiro, you really weren’t all that nice about Light being sick. I mean, he was trying his best, even if he was being a little crabby, and-” 

Light cut him off before Soichiro could butt in with any further details on Light’s ‘crabbyness’. 

“Yeah. So, what’s it like having to work next to the council building, Matsuda? I hear those guys are all snobs!” 

“Now Light,” Soichiro cut in. “Even if they may be a little… pretentious, they’re still just doing their jobs. And protecting the council is an important task. Besides, despite their unpopular decisions, the council holds us together as a society.” 

Light snorted. “Is that what you tell Aizawa whenever he has to deal with them?” 

“HA!” Matsuda flushed as the room quieted at his outburst. The lull thankfully picked up, and Matsuda ducked his head. Soichiro glared disapprovingly. 

“I mean-” Squeaked Matsuda. “You do, don’t you? And it was funny!” 

Light smirked to him from behind Soichiro’s shoulder. 

Suddenly, a long, low buzz filled the room. Light froze. It was the NPA’s “Immediate Action” alert, and he had only heard it once before in his life. 

The room around him broke into motion. Soichiro reached for his transceiver, listening numbly as his hand squeezed tight around Light. Out of the corner of his eye, Light could catch Matsuda fumbling for his own. 

“Wh-what’s wrong, Dad? What’s happening?” His voice climbed several octaves. Pain pierced Light as Soichiro’s hand clenched sharply. 

“Someone broke into the council headquarters.” 

He was gone, lost in the stream of bodies and- Matsuda stood right beside him, saying over and over that it was going to be ok and his dad would take care of it and it was only Matsuda disappeared into the crowd with a tight hug and as his mother’s tight drawn face came into view as she held him that he realized he was shaking. 

“There’s nothing to worry about, Light.” She soothed. The way her hand stroked his hair so gently made him want to melt into her with exhaustion. “He’ll be fine. He always is.” 

All around him, the room had grown quiet. Only Sayu stood, watching them distantly. The rest must have left with the scare from the NPA officers. 

“Really?” He asked. 

She sighed. “Has he ever not been?” Still, something churned in Light’s stomach. “You should get some rest now, Light. You’ll only worry yourself sick if you wait up for him.” 

Light heeded her advice. Kissing her cheek, he turned from the room. It seemed so bereft now, the fairy lights casting hollow lighted patterns on the abandoned floor.


End file.
